As part of my training for MIMS, I did a long swim today (10 x 1650’s). I did this workout a couple of weeks ago and a few people asked me how I could swim this long, as it would be far too boring for them. I have two answers to this question:
1. Nothing is too boring for me; and
2. How could I possibly be bored when my mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapour of invention.
Behold the results of today’s labours!! I submitted the following patent application to the Patent and Trademark Office and received the somewhat dubious serial number of 123,456,789. I’m sure this application will get through without any objections and I will receive a letters patent shortly.
Please private message me with any licensing offers.
US Patent Application Serial Number 123,456,789
Title:
BACKSTROKE SNORKEL
Background of the Invention
In recent years, snorkels have become a very popular training apparatus for swimmers. When worn, a snorkel allows the swimmer to concentrate on his or her head position without having to move their head to breathe.
Traditional snorkels have proven ineffective when worn during backstroke, as the opening of the snorkel is submerged beneath the water, making breathing problematic.
Description of the Invention:
A traditional backstroke snorkel is shown in Figure 1. The tube (A) of the snorkel extends from the swimmer’s mouth (B), over the swimmer’s head (C) and then angles down, with the opening (D) resting underwater when the head is in the correct position for backstroke. This design has proven disastrous for some backstrokers, as it is nearly impossible to inhale anything other than water in this position.
A first embodiment of the present invention is shown in Figure 2. In this embodiment, the tube (A) of the snorkel extends from the swimmer’s mouth (B), around the side and underneath the swimmer’s head (C), and up above the surface of the water on the other side of the head (C). This embodiment has the advantage of having the snorkel opening (D) in the air instead of underwater.
This arrangement is advantageous in that the backstroker can keep their head in the optimal position during practice, while breathing enough air to remain alive.
A second embodiment of the present invention is shown in Figure 3. In this embodiment, the snorkel further includes a mirror (E). The mirror (E) is attached to the snorkel tube (A) and allows the backstroker to see where they are going.
A third embodiment of the present invention is shown in Figure 4. In this embodiment, a vase (F) is also attached to the tube (A). The vase (F) can contain a flower (G) or other foliage deemed attractive to the backstroker’s coach or spectators. With this embodiment, it is recommended the backstroker perform open-turns rather than flip-turns. Other variations on this third embodiment include but are not limited to fishing tackle, video entertainment equipment, coffee-cup holders and ashtrays.
Claims:
What is claimed is:
- A backstroke training apparatus comprising an air tube connectable to a swimmer’s mouth,
- said air tube comprising an opening which protrudes above the surface of the water in which said swimmer is backstroking.
- The backstroke training apparatus of claim 1, further comprising a mirror attached to said air tube
- The backstroke training apparatus of claim 2, wherein said mirror is attached to said air tube above the surface of the water while said swimmer is backstroking.
- The backstroke training apparatus of claim 1, 2 or 3, further comprising fishing tackle, a vase, video equipment, or an ashtray attached to said air tube.
- The backstroke training apparatus of claim 4, where in said vase, fishing tackle, video equipment or ashtray is above the surface of the water when said swimmer is backstroking.
- A backstroke training apparatus, substantially as described herein, with reference to the accompanying drawings.
