Oh, how exciting! Get your schadenfreude stick out. My sporting world’s favorite anti-hero will be on the latest season of Dancing with the Stars! That’s right folks. Diana Nyad will be a contestant on season 18 of DWTS (that’s what the kids do…they abbreviate shows. Go ahead. Search SYTYCD.)

Seriously though…no, never mind. I can’t be serious. I am going to have such a good time watching. In fact, I think I’ll live-blog it, which my teens tell me means I’ll do a post and keep updating it as the fun happens. So exciting. Aren’t you, dear reader(s), excited?

Things I’ll look for (and hat-tip to the comic geniuses at the Marathon Swimmers Forum, you know who you are): A camera malfunction preventing the audience (both live and TV) from seeing her entire dance; her special suit that’ll protect her toes from being squished by her partner; the sniping she’ll do about her fellow contestants; her claim to have cleared her special rules with the “sport of reality TV dancing”; her claim to have practiced all week without sleeping; her press release weeks after the final episode in which she claims to be the winner, based on the rules she was dancing by.

I could go all week. Hopefully she’ll stay in long enough that I’ll have some guaranteed posts for the next couple of weeks.