Here’s a handy guide to help you decode open water swim event pages to determine whether or not the event has been planned and organized by triathletes.

• Words: Does the registration page or event description include triathletey words, like IM, or Olympic distance. Is there mention of needing USAT insurance?
• Pictures: Does the webpage have pictures of skinny, well-muscled athletes? Can you see any of the athletes’ abdomen muscles?
• Distances: Is the swim 1500 meters?  Or 2.4 miles?
• Wetsuits: Are wetsuits authorized? Are they voluntary or mandatory at ridiculously high water temps, like 84F?

If you’ve gotten past those tell-tale signs and are actually at the event, here’s how to tell if the event has been planned and organized by triathletes.

• Other participants: Are the other swimmers lean, mean, athletic machines? Do they look like they could pose in an advertisement for running shoes? Do any of their cars have little stickers with a dotted-M on the bumper? Or an oval with 140.6?
• Audible cues: Do you hear other swimmers talking about transitions? Do any of them mention how many weeks or months it has been since they’ve last swum? Do any of your fellow swimmers mention they are hoping they can swim all the requisite laps? Do any of them sigh or whine when the race director states the water is too warm for wetsuits?
• During the swim: Do any of your competitors stand up and walk through shallow areas? Do any of them wear a pull buoy while swimming? Do some of your fellow swimmers cut the buoys? Or hang on the support kayaks?
• Post swim activities: Do any of the swimmers arrive on their bikes, or set their bikes up at the finish as if they’re going to jump directly on their bike upon exiting the lake? Are any of your fellow swimmers late to the awards ceremony because they ran 10 miles after the swim?

If you answered Yes to any or all of the above questions, then you’re taking part in an open water swim put on by triathletes!

Now, all joking aside, participating in a triathlete-organized open water swim is not a bad thing. In fact, they can be very fun. And entertaining. Everything above I experienced during swims I’ve participated in the past. They’re still swims, and in most cases well organized fun swims. And unless you are an elite marathon swimmer, you probably don’t need to worry about whether the organizers split the results between skins and suits, or if one of your age group competitors cuts a buoy (although that’ll probably still piss you off).

And taking part in an open water swim with triathletes is a good opportunity to advertise the fun that is our sport. Wear a t-shirt from one of your long swims (long in your lingo, not long in theirs). Go skins despite the “cold” water temp of 72F. Who knows, your good attitude may just convert some of them to the most wonderful sport of marathon swimming!